Went to the store a little while ago and the cashier was cute. I bought a 22 of Colt 45 and cheap ice cream, paying with bottle slips. I feel like I made a good impression.


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I had a weird-ass dream last night. All I remember from it is that there was a commercial for summer camp on the TV and its slogan was "summer camp: it's where your wife lost her virginity". I woke up laughing and just wanted to share ( Read more... )

So another time killing game I like to play when there's a computer with internet handy is doing searches for completely random word combinations and seeing what comes up. This is made a little challenging because it's not entirely easy to think of words that won't bring up porn or porn-related links. Anyway, I had my friend, Lindsay look up "smurf ( Read more... )

...while sitting on the toilet. I'm sure this is too much information for some of you, but I was sitting on the toilet a few minutes ago when classic 80's song "I Ran" by Flock of Seagulls entered my head, but the word "ran" was replaced with "shat". There was no thought process leading up to it; it just happened. I got a good laugh out of it and ( Read more... )